Two biggies

We’ve heard many times that there are two elements needed for a successful marriage.
Women need Love// Men need Respect. We thought it would be fun to dissect these two concepts a bit and share our perspectives.


Love: DJ can show that he loves me by listening to me and being interested in the things going on in my life. He can ask me questions and make an effort to discover who I am beneath the surface. He can spend time with me. This may be doing activities or sitting and talking or even reading together, enjoying the silence. He can appreciate and accept me for who I am and not compare me to others. He can value our marriage, and the strengths that I bring to the table. He can be patient with me as I continue to mature as an individual and as a wife, and help me grow in the areas that need improvement. He can challenge me to pursue my goals and not give up when things get difficult. He can remember things like my birthday, our anniversary, and other dates that are important to me. He can celebrate with me when we reach a milestone, or I accomplish something and he can have empathy when I’m frustrated or sad. He can encourage me by reading the bible with me and praying with me. He can be faithful to me and to our marriage. He can verbalize to me {often} how he feels about me and why he is glad that he chose me. And he can be giving of himself and his resources and hold nothing back. Lastly, he can be kind and give me grace even when I don't deserve it {which is really what grace is all about}.
*This may be different for every person, but for me, this is love*
~Mrs. P

Respect: Danielle can show me respect by not demeaning me or throwing me under the bus in public/family settings. She can let me show affection to her without pushing me off of her, or acting grossed out to save face including letting me hold her hand in public. She doesn't have to laugh at all my jokes, but please don't scoff at me to my own downfall. She can let me open doors for her, or let me pull her seat out for her wherever we go. Having her tell me how she appreciates me for going to school full time and working full time is a plus (since she's already done that and graduated). We have a pact to never compare days ("mine was harder than yours") and in that, we will continue to work as a team and pick up slack when the other may be fried that day. She can respect me by hearing me out when I'm trying to make a point, since it's not very often that I am serious and those are the times i feel I really need to be heard. She can ask my opinion and take it into account whether or not that is the path chosen. Last and most important of all, she can respect me by never listening to Justin Bieber in my presence.
~Mr. P

hmm...

ok, i don't consider myself superstitious, but sometimes my fortune cookie messages seem to correlate with whatever is going on in my life. when i came back from a mission trip to costa rica in 2008, i knew i wanted  to spend more time out in the world as a missionary. shortly after,  i got a fortune cookie that said "you will step on the soil of many countries"and then i went to africa, and then i married a man who wants to be a traveling nurse. crazy right?

so anyway, i will be totally forthright and say that i am a little bit overwhelmed and unsure of how to successfully launch my photography business and am relying a lot on prayer because things don't seem to be rolling as fast as i would like (granted, dj says i have the patience of a housefly). last week i got a fortune that said "all your hard work will soon pay off" and today my fortune said "you have sound business sense." this tells me three things: a) i eat at places that offer fortune cookies way too much and need to start bringing my lunch to work and b) maybe this is intentional encouragement sent my way.... OR c) it's just a coincidence and i need to continue to pray and have patience...

i'm going with a little of all three

~mrs. p

Does this headband make me look fat?

Supporting your spouse in their dreams and helping them along the way is one of the pleasures of being married. However when your wife wants to be a photographer, you find yourself the victim of a new kind of paparazzi. I am the bargain model that she uses when she: learns a new photo technique, gets a new lens, or when she gets a new prop and wants to know what it will look like in the sun. So here I am being the supportive husband wearing her new props in the parking lot of our apartment complex (makes holding her purse a welcome task now).
~Mr. P

on my mind today...

Is there something that has defined who you are? I think there are moments and words that stick with us throughout our lives. One thing that has stuck with me happened at the end of the year awards ceremony when I was in the 2nd grade. All the kids received awards and I remember waiting with anticipation to hear what mine would be. “Danielle Storck- best…all around student!” Now, if you know me at all, you know that I can rarely hide my emotions. Whatever is going on inside my heart and mind is showing up with clarity on my face. I guarantee that my face showed my confusion as I accepted this vague award that I thought was made up because Mrs. Schultz couldn’t think of anything else to give me. I had wanted to hear that I was good at something specific, something I could channel all of my efforts towards. I would have taken anything- academics, art, athletics, even the "best glue stick technician" would have been fine because it was more tangible than "all around" in my 7-year-old mind. Most of my life I have been trying to find out what I am best at, and where I fit in. And you know what? I still don’t know! And I am okay with that. I believe that if we set out to glorify God in all that we do then we are successful where it counts. When we forget this or start to feel discouraged, there are always the promises of God to keep us going. This verse DJ sent me has encouraged me this week: 


“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:8


~Mrs. P 

the visitor

Every month a strange thing invades our home. It occurs every 28-32 days and lasts for about a week. Last Saturday night it intruded on a lovely date DJ and I were having at the Elephant Bar. Out of nowhere it showed up and tried to ruin our evening by causing an argument. It doesn’t play fair! It causes grown women to break down into tears for no apparent reason and grown men to run for the man cave. It demands chocolate and Mexican food every day it's in town. It interrupts our romance and causes drowsiness and moodiness. It does not apologize for its behavior, simply arrives when it wants to, causes a ruckus and leaves again, promising to return again next month. As soon as it leaves everything and everyone goes back to normal. We are happy and content and don’t argue much at all and the romance returns just as suddenly as it left. Some consider this thing to be a blessing and others a curse. Every woman, and every man living with a woman is familiar with this thing. "What can we do to stop this?" you ask. I wish I had the answer for you. At this point all we can do is close our eyes, cover our ears, and wait it out. Oh, and keep the cabinets stocked with Toblerone bars. That seems to keep it happy. This month its arrival was marked with a little smiley face on the calendar so that next month we will be more prepared for it and not so caught off guard.

~Mrs. P 

O, the visitor. How can one truly be prepared for the arrival of the mother of argument, the child of outburst and the father of breakdowns? It storms in on the winds of emotional instability and leaves the wreckage of whatever was in its path. Dates and holidays have been it's victims and it leaves no prisoners alive. A lot like the arrival of a tornado it comes unannounced and like the unwanted family member during the holidays, can't leave soon enough. Once peace in the valley has set back in, it's like the end of a Charger season, we only have the pieces to pick back up and set things right again. Akin to the end of a good exorcist movie, I get the love of my life back and we don't mention what happened during the time of the possession. It's something that is both mutually feared and mutually welcomed (for that brief moment when the text comes my way that the visitor has arrived). Somehow during this time communication is increased but has ceased to exist at the same time (how does that even work). OK, OK, it's not that bad, but it is a thing that we all have to deal with, whether or not it feels like one or both of us are in the twilight zone. 

~ Mr. P

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