perfection: leave it at the door.

One thing the sappy romantic comedies (of which I am a fan) often leave out is what happens after the happy ending? Because I’m pretty sure it isn’t all sunshine and “good morning dear, your coffee is ready. I added the perfect amount of hazelnut creamer, just the way you like it.” Since we got back from our honeymoon and reality hit us gently in the forehead, I’ve been asking myself the same question. How am I supposed to be a wife? And, how can we make this thrilling, day in and day out, when truthfully, I’m not that interesting most of the time. I put tons of pressure on myself to keep him entertained while looking cute and having a cozy yet stylish apartment where I serve him elaborate dinners and romance him every night. Whew! I’m tired just thinking about it. As these expectations I placed on myself swirl ‘round & round in my head, something funny occurs. I realize that I don’t always look that cute. Sometimes we eat frozen pizza. And our apartment is just okay. But you know what? We laugh a lot of the time.  I feel freedom to do a random little jig whenever the mood strikes. I enjoy hearing about his day and telling him about mine and holding hands while we watch a movie. So it’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. What I’ve learned is that we have time to get this right. Perfection and its ugly cousin, Expectations can be left at the door. And yes, sappy movies could show the couple’s first fight in the credits, but it’s sorta nice that they’ve left something to our imaginations. ~Mrs. P

O, the expectations and thoughts of perfection. I definitely fall short of all the above. Expectations are hypothetical best case scenarios that tend to fall short, and the only perfect thing I’ve ever heard of is Jesus. The way that I operate is taking on the charming stylings of Clark W Griswold from the unfortunate chronicles of that loving family. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing but whatever I do I will put my all into it and do it with a great attitude no matter what the results. You know what they say, “fake it till you make it and they will hardly know the difference.” I know that I we will never be perfect but as long as we know that we’re perfect for each other (being that we give grace and forgiveness daily) then we can bless one another that way. I find myself confused a lot as to the fact that women are a lot more confusing but take it as a challenge to learn the intricacies and details that make Danielle who she is and maybe one day find out why she would even hang out with the likes of me. Short story longer, I will never be what she expects and I will never be perfect but my prayer is to be EXACTLY what Danielle needs. ~Mr.P

Here are some examples of expectations that fell short within our first week of marriage:

◊ Our wedding night hotel lost our confirmation and we spent 30 minutes in the lobby while they questioned us about being con artists, dressed up in fancy attire to try and score a free room. Seriously.

◊ We missed our flight to Cabo because we arrived 15 minutes past the check in cut off time. Thus, our plane left without us. 

◊When we finally made it to Cabo, DJ wanted to take me on a fancy sushi dinner date. Despite all the raving reviews of this particular restaurant we tried, the sushi was basically inedible and we walked away still hungry and 50 bucks poorer.

◊ One of us spent two of the four days in Cabo hunched over the toilet puking ourselves into a stupor, due to not being careful with our menu choices.

We learned quickly that expecting perfection is silly. Stuff is going to go wrong. Parades will be rained on. However, usually things turn out just fine, maybe even better than our expectations. We received an additional stay at the hotel along with an upgrade. We had a day to relax and enjoy being married before our official honeymoon began. And the sushi story, well that just makes us laugh, and sometimes, that is enough.