Sunday, January 30, 2011

Eye Before "E" Except After See

I don’t need to read Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti to know that my husband and I are two people operating with two very different minds. An example is in order: I chopped 5 inches of hair off my head not long after we got married. I sat in the swivel chair telling my stylist that I can’t wait for my husband to see my new look and blah blah blah…” So when I picked him up from work that night and he didn’t mention my hair immediately or even at all, the steam began to pour out of my ears like a boiling tea kettle. I finally asked him, “DIDN’T YOU NOTICE I CUT MY HAIR, LIKE ALMOST HALF A FOOT??” He hadn’t. Now I preface all hair cuts with “babe, I am cutting my hair today and when I pick you up from work, I would like for you to notice and compliment me right away.” This is not to say that my husband lacks observation skills. He is far more observant than me. Another example is in order: I sent him a picture of a bird’s eye-close up view of the inside of my empty starbucks cup. His challenge was to name the mystery item. Within two minutes he sent me this- “It’s the bottom of a condensed paper coffee cup. You can see the coffee grinds in the picture. Also the identifying line in the top right of the pic making it a paper cup and not a Styrofoam one that comes in one solid piece.” Say whaaat? I couldn’t do that, telling you right now. What’s the point in this? Don’t underestimate my fella for not having the observation skills of a woman because he is not a woman, he is a man, and he has his own set of skills that are impressive in their own right.
~Mrs. P 

Getting Danielle on the same page as me has at times been a challenge in itself. Why do I notice when the knives are in the wrong order in our knife set? Why does it bother me if somehow she puts the dvd's back in non alphabetical order? The tools go in a specific spot according to the predesignated shape that is in the holder! I like things in a particular order, not because I'm OCD necessarily, but because if I didn't keep a system I would be lost. But it's the embarrassing times that Danielle has been O so keenly observant that makes me cringe. Example being; coming back from Africa and the malaria medicine that was given. The medicine that could give you a very sensitive stomach and leave you sitting on the porcelain think tank for longer than you'd care to admit. So right before we got married I'm living in the apartment and setting things up for after the wedding. I had taken the time to set up her prize shower curtain that she had already taken back due to a slight pattern blemish. One night while desperately trying to get home on time before the medicine sucker punched me, I lost that battle right at the entry of the bathroom and made a mess I would not like to explain at this point. I Kaboom'd the crud out of that bathroom (literally) and thought I had gotten everything. A day or two later she's in the bathroom for not more than 25 secs when I hear the dreaded "Dujuan Parham!" Of course she would notice some light spatter on the curtain and with my tail between my legs I take the walk of shame. I knew she wouldn't buy the whole "I was eating chocolate ice cream while shaving" bit that I was coming up with. I admitted to it very sheepishly, explained the story and my shame and she actually ended up cleaning the curtain for me. That's when I knew that it was really true love!
~ Mr. P

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