this is what you would call..."a bad egg"

this is what our friday night is amounting to so far...while preparing to cook up some steak and eggs for a late dinner, we pull two cartons from the fridge, one old and one new. wanting to know if the old ones are still usable...we do what any curious nerds would do...we consult google. It seems that a good egg will sink and a bad egg will float. folks, we found ourselves some bad eggs. 

good egg

bad egg-bad egg-bad egg-bad egg- bad egg



SCIENCE IS FUN. 

a word from our sponsors...

It's Friday already?? Woohoo! This week brought some fun times for the Parham household. We got an actual day off together on Monday and went frisbee golfing and ate our beloved pad thai with chicken/spicy #7 for lunch, celebrated the birthday of a good friend with some never-ending salad and breadsticks, had a couple friends over for pizza and a movie, got to catch up with our mentor couple, and tonight, well, not much on the agenda and that is nice too. Of course there were lows to the week, but it's Friday, so it's more fun to mention the good stuff! We promised to not use this blog to give advice but I think it is safe to say: eat some chocolate this weekend! It has been rumored to cause a sensation known as smiling... 

Cake.Family.Movie...Contentment

Why doesn't this thing come with a manual?

One thing I struggle with is not knowing when to keep my mouth shut and when to speak up about something. I read a few books before I got married because I wanted to be prepared and have my head in the game, you see. Sprinkled among the great advice in these books was some that left me bewildered. Like the woman who wrote that if a couple is going somewhere and the man unknowingly takes a wrong turn or misses an exit, and continues driving them away from their destination, the woman is not to say anything. She is to let her husband find out on his own that they are not in Kansas anymore, Todo. Thankfully DJ disagreed with this advice and said I am welcome to speak up before he runs the state line or something. But then there are times when I really don’t know if a situation calls for me to speak up as a partner or keep quiet and let him sort it out on his own. Lately this confusion on my part has to do with our finances and our jobs. Like many people in their mid twenties, we are both working towards long term career goals and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel is going to last at least a few more years, so patience is required. In the meantime I  am often tempted to try and "help out" and send DJ income opportunities I come across that I think he may like while he is working hard to get through school. I have been a career counselor for the last four years and enjoy helping people in this area. However, there is a difference between my role as a counselor and my role as a wife. Sometimes the line gets blurry for me and when that happens, I need to squint. And I need to pray. For wisdom, for direction, and for discernment.

~Mrs.P

Communication is such a fickle thing, especially when you have two people who say they speak the same language but entirely different dialects. It's not only what's said, but the ears that transpose what's said into alien tongue. For me, this is rather difficult because what I've come to find out is that encouragement, advice, correction, and jokes are VERY gender specific. Men don't listen very well because we're fixers and don't like to get too deep because this will produce the ever feared "feelings". When men need to talk we tend to only listen to enough to figure out how to fix the situation. Why else would someone tell us their woes? The difference is that women actually talk and lay out their hearts just to keep those they love updated. They don't want advice, they just want someone to listen. This is hard for me because my love for Danielle makes me want to help, and I fight everything I am to not say "what I would do in this situation is..." The way guys encourage one another is to make fun of, shame or give each other a swift kick in the butt to get moving. I have found this also does not translate well to Danielle because this "is not loving." Of course it's not loving-men aren't worried about loving on each other- they want to get back to the game! Due to my lack of knowledge/experience in female communication this has been my biggest struggle. This is my confession, apology and main area of focus in where I can best serve Danielle.
~Mr P

chicken soup for the parham soul

Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred~Proverbs 15:17

The Ginger Conspiracy

There are funny things about being a ginger {red head}. We have freckles on our lips. We can get sunburned just walking to the car in the summer. And hey, “we’ve got an SPF for that!” What do you get when you put two gingers together in one little home? Lots of fun, lots of loudness, lots of silly arguments, and lots of making up. If anyone questions the stereotype about hair color and personality, I can attest to it being true for the Parhams. I’m stubborn, emotional, and when I’m upset-don’t come too close. Please, just don't. Being aware of these tendencies is nice, but still it is hard to outsmart your personality. Besides the fact that DJ and I are both stubborn by nature, we are also pretty much opposite of each other in the way we operate. We took a Color Q personality test (version of Myer’s Briggs) and it came as no surprise that DJ is a gold/blue, and I am a green/red. In basic terms, it means that we see the world through very different perspectives. That is okay and actually it’s pretty great because of the whole balancing each other out thing, but it’s a recipe for conflict sometimes, too. We have tough times when we aren’t willing to try and see the other’s point of view. It takes concentrated effort to live harmoniously. We are also both introverted which means we need space and alone time to function at our best. I think being aware of our hot buttons and our partner’s is vital to success. After all, we chose each other, we chose to get married, and married we will remain. So far, it’s been 4 months of wedded learning-growing-crying-hugging-laughing-hollering-pillow throwing-bliss. 

~Mrs. P

Single me (DJ) had a list of Do's and Don'ts when it came to women I would date. 1 - I would not date a woman that on one hand would express indifference to where they would like to go to dinner, but then on the other hand remain incredibly picky as to suggestions being made. 2 - I wouldn't date a woman that didn't love Star Wars and Harry Potter but I guess life goes on. 3 - I wouldn't date another ginger because they can be amazingly stubborn! I ended up breaking all these rules to be with Danielle. I thought that these things would spell disaster, but being with Danielle has been quite a blessing in itself. Sure she is different than I am on some functionality levels but the foundation remains firm. I like this arrangement because when I set out to marry someone, I wanted a partner that would be strong in the areas that I'm weak. She's more organized, has more passion, and is cleaner than I am. These are just a few areas that she balances me out in. So even though I broke a couple cheesy rules, it was for the greater good of DJ-kind. Thanks lady ;)

~Mr. P