nicknames and bread faces

Nicknames really burn my toast.

They should be approved by the person to whom they are given but they never are. They are gleefully imposed by siblings, parents, and friends, and occasionally the playground bully. Sometimes they're cute but in my personal experience they are always unfortunate... Danny, Big D, Dizzle, Dano, Storck the dork. You can see why I'm not a fan. I've been nickname-less for a few years and that's been nice. Now the one person who is supposed to be my "safe haven" is calling me Boobers. Boo. Bers. Worst part is, he won't stop.

And now I'm responding to it.

Why not just ignore it? Nip it in the bud? Well because he is persistent and I don't have the stamina to argue this forever, so I conceded.

Pick your battles..

Speaking of randomness, doesn't this slice of bread look like it has a face?

~Mrs. P 

comfortable or complacent? another top ten list!

Happy Easter!

1. He gets a “good morning!” kiss whether I have brushed my teeth or not

2. I don’t feel the urge to wear perfume or fragranty stuff all the time to impress him, but I still wear deodorant so that’s a plus

3. Speaking of deodorant, I let him pick out the one I currently use because I trust his judgment and he is surprisingly picky about that sort of thing

4. I don’t wear sweats excessively (marriage books-let out your collective sigh of relief) but I also don’t feel obligated to look perfectly put together when we are just hanging out at home

5. My money/your money-thing of the past, having a joint account is simpler and unifying in our marriage

6. Hypothetical parenting conversations have changed from “if we ever have a kid” to “when we have a kid”

7. Praying together gets better and better the longer we are together

8. I am calmer about stuff that used to really bug me, like his pile (see our first top ten list). That just makes me laugh now, especially when he covers it with a pillow and thinks that solves the problem

9. I don’t have to be in control of every little detail. It is pretty freeing to say “it’s up to you” “whatever you like is fine with me” “how about you handle that?”

10. I have resigned myself to the fact that I cannot hold in certain bodily functions 24/7, sometimes things are going to slip out and it doesn’t bother him, usually it elicits a cheer or something embarrassing like that.

~Mrs. P

1. I never thought that I would be one to go to the bathroom with someone else in there, but desperate times calls for desperate measures.

2. “Mine” is very quickly and easily becoming “ours,” our IPod, our car, our books, our money.

3. I on the other hand get home and throw on basketball shorts ASAP. Oops!

4. Danielle was unfortunately under the impression that I was one of the rare men who do not fart all the time, Since being married I have proved her wrong. (Can’t win them all)

5. When I’m sick, I can’t just say that I can’t go out with you this week, She gets to hear all the sights, sounds and smells that come along with it.

6. I don’t hide pulling my nose hairs, instead I do it till I get caught and then she helps me find the more elusive ones.

7. Yes, brushing my teeth does include scrubbing my tongue until I gag, that way I know its clean.

8. I am a lot more comfortable when I drive! I’m not controlling, I swear.

9. She thought that I was weird and quirky before we got married, but since then, I have so many different characters, voices, and faces that they are all slowly but surely becoming named.

10. Sleeping next to someone was very awkward at first, but now I can’t sleep unless she is there even if I have to wait for her to come back at 2 in the morning from a concert in LA.

~Mr. P

love

The hardest part of being married and the biggest mindset change is loving someone else more than you love yourself. It can easily be done when you’re getting along but our strongest instinctual instinct is self preservation and when you’re fighting, that concept is hard to do. In the heat of the argument, I tend to stop talking if I’m getting mad or our voices are starting to become “whispering challenged”. I do get in trouble for this but my theory is that I would rather be in trouble for not talking then get in trouble for speaking out of anger and making things exponentially worse for myself. Don’t get me wrong, there are times for yelling and shouting; roller coasters, Charger games, and at star trek fans (because star wars is better! Does star trek have a nationally recognized religion in Britain? I think not). When Danielle and I started dating, I was at my most selfish, prideful point in my life, and I feel that I have come a long way. Through a lot of difficult circumstances, God was saying “grow up stupid!” I was shocked back into reality and was lucky enough to have a woman who loved me for who I am. Reading through Exodus right now, there is a time where Moses offers up his eternal soul so that the people of Egypt could have a chance of going to heaven. I wish that we could all be a little more like Moses and Jesus who both loved people enough to not only lay down their lives, but would lay down their eternal souls so that people could have hope. That is the most amazing example of loving someone else more than yourself. I love Danielle more than I love myself, I’m proud to say that I do, because I know that our marriage will not work if I am #1 in my own heart.

~Mr. P

I think DJ's idea to talk about a challenge that comes with marriage (loving another more than you love yourself) is a good one, because often, I believe it really boils down to that. However, it is not something we will become great at right away. In fact, the pastor of the church whose sermons we often listen to online, Mark Driscoll, has said that it takes about 10-14 years of marriage for our selfishness to dissipate somewhat and for us to really put the other person first. 10-14 years...WOW. In a way that is very encouraging because it means I don't have to feel like a complete failure for not having the whole sacrificial love thing down yet. Believe me, I mess up frequently in this department. Whatever movie quoted "love means never having to say you're sorry" was hugely misleading. As a person who had grown up with the idea that marriage is a shaky institution at best and hardly ever lasts, I really did not intend to go through with it myself. And then I went on a blind date with this goofy guy who I knew from five years back... and the idea of marriage suddenly didn't seem so unappealing. Now that we are half a year into this, I can say with certainty that I married the right person {for me} because even though I am a stubborn and complicated woman, DJ is really good at putting me first and laying his pride aside in any given situation. On my worst days when I'm snappy and irritable, and just want him to leave me alone so I can read a book and eat unhealthy amounts of sour patch kids, he doesn't use that as an excuse to be a jerk in return. So in a way, I am learning about love and sacrifice from him, and from Him. 

~Mrs. P

on the horizon

Happy weekend, friends! We are cooking up another blog post and in the meantime, here is a preview of a family photo shoot I had the privilege of being part of this week. More photos will be put up on our blog/website devoted entirely to photography-currently in the works-can't wait to share that with you{soon!}

beach

just a lazy sunday afternoon~ meant to go to church but accidentally overslept, trip to beach and farmer's market, cooking dinner together while listening to sermon~thankful for a good day.

april 9

every milestone is worth celebrating! thank you to all who have been on this blogging adventure with us so far, we look forward to sharing another 6 months with you!

montage

i have mentioned in previous blogs how patient DJ is when it comes to me using him as a practice subject. and since i love a good montage, i thought i would show just a few examples of my supportive and may i add, handsome husband. don't let the first picture fool you, he's actually very good natured.

sometimes

                                                

       it's fun to have a different perspective

dreams and stuff

I noticed lately that our blog posts are more pictures than words. My thoughts are that it is because neither DJ nor I fancy ourselves as writers and it is not something we jump up and down about doing every day. Usually one of us suggests a topic and we mull over it and at the last minute come up with something. It almost always relates to a situation we are currently experiencing. Noticing that lately our blog is filled with photos reminded me of something I think speaks to our marriage: supporting each other’s dreams. Many moons ago-14 months to be exact- DJ came to me with something really important he wanted to discuss. I had been away for a few days and he said my brief absence lead him to decide to not return to firefighting, a job he liked and was great at. He said he wanted to pursue nursing, as he always had an interest in that, and it was a more family friendly profession. He was worried about how I would react as it meant him going back to school and not having the financial stability he currently had. I told him to go for it. Inwardly I was relieved that he was choosing a different profession because I knew the challenges we would face if he stayed in firefighting. Fast forward several months later, we are fresh on the marriage train and I tell him that I don’t want to pursue my master’s in social work after all. I had been accepted into a good university and was supposed to begin classes in August of 2010 but that interfered with our trip to Africa so I deferred to 2011. When we came back from Africa I realized that: A) I don’t need a master’s degree to help people in third world countries & B) I really don’t want to rack up more student loan debt right now. So I told him I would follow him wherever he wants to go in nursing, as long as I can do photography in some capacity because I really enjoy it. He was supportive. He let me buy my camera and he tolerates being my paparazzi victim, which I'm very thankful for. In fact I got some nice shots of him cooking dinner tonight, and I know he wanted to throw a piece of chicken at me but he refrained. 
~Mrs. p


It's pretty amazing how plans can change as often as P Diddy changes names. I had my next 5 years planned out with my firefighting career, and making a good name for myself in the battalion. Falling for Danielle made me reanalyze my goals to not only be best for me, but I wanted to set up my family for success. I'm sure one could guess, but the divorce rate for firefighters is rather high, and it's not the most stable home for raising children so I made a rough choice. So after one our first hard talks, we decided that it would be worth a few rough years for me to go back to school and come out with a degree that will provide for the family and allow me to be the best husband and father that I can possibly be. So now I'm back to school but its painfully apparent that not much has changed since I left school, because all the cool kids still sit away from me. I was pretty shocked when Danielle came to me saying that she was considering not doing her masters program and after another plan changing conversation our plans divert again. Do I miss firefighting? Heck yes at times, but I missed Danielle SO much more when I was gone. Will our plans change again? Most assuredly, and we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Has it all been worth it? Absolutely and I don't regret my decision at all.
~Mr. P

brothers

what better way to spend a saturday afternoon than with a wonderful family and their three adventurous boys, Mattias, Magnus, and Axel. we had a blast chasing them around the vineyard near their house and the park, enjoyed Mattias' stories, and then had dinner together. DJ and i were introduced to grilled brussel sprouts which may have revolutionized the way we eat our veggies. thanks again guys-see you soon!