an interview

 

ready to wrap this blog up..but not without a final interview

we each made up some random questions to ask each other, dj was the first one to answer...

mrs.- what is your favorite meal to have for dinner?

mr.- i love chicken stir fry

mrs.- tell me about one of your happiest memories of this past year. 

mr.- i loved my birthday when i got knighted and people showed up and you took the time to surprise me. it was a lot of fun and creative and you made one of my random life goals happen. plus i got a certificate. 

mrs.- what is the stupidest thing we have gotten into an argument about?

mr.- hot sauce. o wait, we were just dating then... the argument about lady gaga's lyrics

    mrs.- what have you learned about yourself this year?

    mr.- i am not as patient as i thought i was in certain areas. also, i am a lot like my dad in some ways 

   mrs.- what have you learned about me or about women in general? 

    mr.- you are more emotional than me and just because i don't necessarily feel those same emotions doesn't         

    mean they're not valid

    

    mrs.- biggest challenge in marriage? 

    

    mr.- it's okay to not have to be right. putting my pride aside and knowing that little annoyances need to be  overlooked. 

   

 mrs.- describe your perfect day.

    

mr.- wake up, cook breakfast together, head to disneyland. or just hanging out together doing anything, i love that.  

    

mrs.- what are you proud of? 

   

 mr.-i have been working full time, going to school, not necessarily getting straight a's but getting competitive grades, and hopefully making you feel like you are cherished and appreciated. 

    

mrs.- what is one quirk about me that you think is really weird? 

    

mr.- i only get to pick one? you specifically ask for tiny pieces of chicken when we go to panda express. 

    you can't sleep if the pillows on the couch aren't fluffed. you eat hamburgers with a knife and fork. 

    

mrs.- where do you see yourself a year from now? 

    

mr.-hopefully applying to nursing programs. possibly having a kid.

and then danielle had to answer his questions...

    

mr. - what is one of the funniest moments from this last year for you?

    

mrs. - on your birthday when you gave yourself a haircut and we immediately had to go to the             

    barber down the street to fix it. 

    

mr. - what is a habit of mine that drives you crazy?

    

mrs. - you chew your food really loudly. is loudly a word?

mr. - what is something that I do that makes you feel the most appreciated and loved?

   

 mrs. - you do anything that I ask you to do without complaining, and you go on all of the random

    adventures that I come up with.

    

mr. - what is the stupidest thing that we have gotten in a fight about?

   

 mrs - The one time that I wanted to put mascara on you

    mr. - describe your perfect date?

    

    mrs. - ok, we get dressed up and drive anywhere we have never been. have sushi or thai food,  and then go somewhere for dessert and coffee. take a walk outside, maybe go to a comedy club

    mr. - where would you like to go on our next big trip?

    

mrs. - Bali, or Portland Oregon

    mr. - What is something as a wife you would like to get better at?

   

 mrs. - don't set unrealistic expectations and do wear heels more often.

    mr. - What dish or type of food would you like to learn how to cook?

    

mrs. - thai food, yellow curry chicken

    mr. - what are you most proud of from this last year?

   

 mrs. - trying new things. not being scared to take risks. 

    mr. -  what would you tell a newly married couple?

   

 mrs. - don't expect perfection. try not to take yourselves too seriously, have fun. put God first in all things and  

    that alone will make everything else easier. it is a really big adjustment so keep that in mind and enjoy

    the learning process. 

To anybody who still reads our little blog, even after it has been so neglected these last few months, thank you, we appreciate you! If you would like be a part of our latest adventures, come visit us at our website, urbanstillsphotography.com and click on "blog". 

 God Bless. 

no more!

A lot of great things have come from being married; joy and growth and maturity. But one thing that has also come with it is an anxiety that I did not experience before, and that is what is on my heart today. Next week we celebrate our anniversary and as we approach our second year of marriage, my goal is to leave behind the burden of worry that has loomed over me the last year. I don’t know exactly what brought it on but my guess is that when I said “I do”, I began the lifelong journey of loving another person with an intensity that I didn’t know was possible. I pray over him every morning and until I know he has arrived at work safely, I feel anxious. Whenever I hear sirens I get a little jump in my stomach and silently pray that nobody I know is involved. My future is so entwined with my husband’s that I cannot picture life without him in it, and so, I worry. What if something happens to him? What if we have kids and something happens to one of us? What if something happens to one of our kids? What if we can't have kids? These are just some of the things I think about constantly, and this last year I have experienced more headaches, more migraines, and more health issues than ever before. It has gotten to the point where I won’t even answer my phone or listen to voicemails unless I know for sure it is not bad news. I can be honest about this because I know that I am not the only who worries, and I know that there is an answer. The other day we were in church and during worship I just closed my eyes and silently pleaded with God, "can I just rest?" See, even when I know my loved ones are safe for the time being, I am not at peace. I am busy worrying that any minute things will come crashing down around us, and so my joy is being robbed daily. I refuse to live this way any longer. My friends and I meet for a bible study weekly and thank God for them because I have finally been able to talk about my anxiety with them and came to learn that we all deal with it in one way or another. And one of them had the awesome idea to write out a bunch of verses about worry and anxiety and look over them whenever we need a wave of peace to wash over us. I want to take the thing that weighs me down the most, and conquer it with scripture and with prayer. Today I came across a quote by one of my favorite authors, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength” ~ Corrie ten Boom. Next post will probably be a wrap up of our first year of marriage and a closure to this blog. I suspect it will be of a lighter nature:). For now, I will practice utilizing the tools that God has given me to stomp out worry and fear, and live with joy, even in the midst of the unknown.

~Mrs. P 

seinfeld moments

i was telling my mom about something that i thought was a serious problem and she responded by laughing and telling me "this is blog material-so seinfeld!" i paused and wondered if she was right. maybe this thing i saw as a big dilemma could be chalked up to nothing more than a silly situation. or maybe not. see, here is the thing, since 2007, i have been going to one of the finest-no-THE finest thai food restaurant in the entire world. you will probably balk at this statement and say to yourself, "no way, so and so is better" but i promise you that if you were to try this place, you would agree with me. i have taken friends to this place, and all of them are return patrons, and it was the first place dj and i went on our first alone date. he loved it and it became our place. we dream about it, drool over it, talk about it with starry eyes. it is a treat for us to eat there, and we make it a point to stop in san marcos every month or so for some pad thai with chicken, house salad with peanut dressing, and beef with spicy noodles. the people who work there recognize our faces now and the last several times we went, they gave us dessert on the house, or extra andies mints with our check, and stopped by our table for frequent chatter. they LOVED us.

and then it happened.

i  wanted to order something i had never had before so i asked for the red curry dish. big mistake. yes it was still very good, but it just wasn't pad thai with chicken spicy number 7, and it wasn't that satisfying. so i took a few bites for good measure and then told dj, "i can't eat it, what do i do?" he suggested letting the server know and see if they could take it back and bring me what i always order instead. i asked so nicely. i apologized profusely, i complimented them and thanked them. but it was to no avail. no longer did they linger for conversation. no free dessert. not even an andies mint graced our check. we didn't even get our usual warm goodbye. i hope it's not beyond repair. this is a relationship we must restore. soon.
~mrs. p

And we're back!

Well, we've definitely had a case of writer's block around here. We have written some blogs and then re-read them and said, "meh, don't wanna post that after all." Ever determined to stretch this out until our anniversary like we envisioned, we are trying to come up with fresh new ideas. I haven't read any marriage books lately, but I recently watched a movie about a couple about to get married and the future groom said something to his friend that stood out to me. He said, "it's weird, how easy it is to destroy something." It made me realize how true that statement is when it comes to our lives. Thinking of all the recent floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and earthquakes that have devastated people all over the world, it is clear that nature and circumstances can shake our lives upside down at any moment. But this guy's statement made me also think about how we sometimes destroy things in our lives with our actions. It is kind of like playing Jenga. You can build your tower higher and higher but each time you take a piece out of it, you shouldn't be surprised when the whole thing tumbles to the ground. I don't want to have a marriage that is as wobbly and unsteady as a Jenga tower. I pray that we build a foundation that is strong and sturdy, and that we only add to our relationship, rather than take away from it. I don't want to hold my breath and hope for the best, I want to live deliberately. 

~Mrs. P 

Many a person has told me that marriage is a marathon and not a sprint and I have continued to muse upon that and see what that would look like. When one is running a marathon, they go through a great amount of stages in those 26.2 miles ranging anywhere from runners high, wanting to pass out and the infamous hitting "the wall" feeling. When one is going to hit "the wall", everything in their body is telling them that it does not want to run anymore, but one must with great difficulty push through that mental barrier and keep trudging on even if it is the hardest thing to do at that point. Now in a sprint, if you're running a hundred yards and you feel like you're gonna die, you probably should stop and build up to that level over time. One can't treat marriage like a sprint, because then you have "the option" to stop, and one must not consider stopping as an option. In the marathon, it's not only a test of physical prowess, but it can test you mentally and emotionally. Now, I have never run a marathon and I promised myself that I never will, BUT if I were to run one and finish, I would feel so much more accomplished having done that, than if I were to have just completed my hundred yard dash. I'm sure for most marathon runners it's for the love of the sport that they keep doing it, and I'm certain that there has been evil little voices telling them to just stop running cause it would be easier, but they kept doing it anyway. Marriage has been an absolute joy for me, and I have loved every step of the way. sure it has tested me a time or two but I leaped the hurdle and kept the mindset that I shouldn't be discouraged by a rough night, rough day or even a rough week, it's for the love of this beautiful woman that I will still press on and enjoy her company.

~Mr. P

june 9th

Two biggies

We’ve heard many times that there are two elements needed for a successful marriage.
Women need Love// Men need Respect. We thought it would be fun to dissect these two concepts a bit and share our perspectives.


Love: DJ can show that he loves me by listening to me and being interested in the things going on in my life. He can ask me questions and make an effort to discover who I am beneath the surface. He can spend time with me. This may be doing activities or sitting and talking or even reading together, enjoying the silence. He can appreciate and accept me for who I am and not compare me to others. He can value our marriage, and the strengths that I bring to the table. He can be patient with me as I continue to mature as an individual and as a wife, and help me grow in the areas that need improvement. He can challenge me to pursue my goals and not give up when things get difficult. He can remember things like my birthday, our anniversary, and other dates that are important to me. He can celebrate with me when we reach a milestone, or I accomplish something and he can have empathy when I’m frustrated or sad. He can encourage me by reading the bible with me and praying with me. He can be faithful to me and to our marriage. He can verbalize to me {often} how he feels about me and why he is glad that he chose me. And he can be giving of himself and his resources and hold nothing back. Lastly, he can be kind and give me grace even when I don't deserve it {which is really what grace is all about}.
*This may be different for every person, but for me, this is love*
~Mrs. P

Respect: Danielle can show me respect by not demeaning me or throwing me under the bus in public/family settings. She can let me show affection to her without pushing me off of her, or acting grossed out to save face including letting me hold her hand in public. She doesn't have to laugh at all my jokes, but please don't scoff at me to my own downfall. She can let me open doors for her, or let me pull her seat out for her wherever we go. Having her tell me how she appreciates me for going to school full time and working full time is a plus (since she's already done that and graduated). We have a pact to never compare days ("mine was harder than yours") and in that, we will continue to work as a team and pick up slack when the other may be fried that day. She can respect me by hearing me out when I'm trying to make a point, since it's not very often that I am serious and those are the times i feel I really need to be heard. She can ask my opinion and take it into account whether or not that is the path chosen. Last and most important of all, she can respect me by never listening to Justin Bieber in my presence.
~Mr. P

hmm...

ok, i don't consider myself superstitious, but sometimes my fortune cookie messages seem to correlate with whatever is going on in my life. when i came back from a mission trip to costa rica in 2008, i knew i wanted  to spend more time out in the world as a missionary. shortly after,  i got a fortune cookie that said "you will step on the soil of many countries"and then i went to africa, and then i married a man who wants to be a traveling nurse. crazy right?

so anyway, i will be totally forthright and say that i am a little bit overwhelmed and unsure of how to successfully launch my photography business and am relying a lot on prayer because things don't seem to be rolling as fast as i would like (granted, dj says i have the patience of a housefly). last week i got a fortune that said "all your hard work will soon pay off" and today my fortune said "you have sound business sense." this tells me three things: a) i eat at places that offer fortune cookies way too much and need to start bringing my lunch to work and b) maybe this is intentional encouragement sent my way.... OR c) it's just a coincidence and i need to continue to pray and have patience...

i'm going with a little of all three

~mrs. p